"Catching Up"
By Viridian5
2/15/99

RATING: R.  Berg/Pete.  If m/m interaction bothers you, 
what are you doing here?
SPOILERS: Not really, though the basic concept comes from 
finding out in "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Graduation" that Pete is a 
soap opera fanatic.
SUMMARY: Pete shares his daily obsession with Berg.
DISCLAIMERS: They're not mine, and it's a pity.  All things here 
are property of Infront Productions and Twentieth Century Fox 
Television.  Anyone who thinks I'm infringing or making a cent 
from this is on drugs.
NOTES: The plotlines and characters discussed here come from 
_The Bold and the Beautiful_, which I used to watch years ago in 
my misspent youth.  I'm not infringing or making any money off 
of that show either.


=================
"Catching Up"
By Viridian5
=================

"This isn't making any sense," Berg said as he snuggled his head 
deeper into Pete's lap.  As his roommate stroked his hair, he 
caressed the knee beneath him in small, circular motions.

"It's really easy once you've been watching it for a while," Pete 
said as he pressed a little harder.  Berg sighed happily.  "That's 
Sheila.  She's a nutcase, but a very talented nutcase.  She has 
falsified paternity records and nearly killed almost every member 
of the cast.  The man with her is James, a psychiatrist she once 
kept in a dungeon she built in her basement."

"Sounds like my kind of woman."

"You frighten me more every day, Berg.  James is married to 
another woman, Maggie, who doesn't understand why he's still 
nice to the woman who kidnapped and tormented him.  Right now, 
Sheila is trying to kidnap their child to get James back."

"But James would be much happier if he realized he *wants* to be 
Sheila's bitch.  I'm sure he misses the strap-on..."

"Probably, and *thank you* for forcing me to think of that actor 
naked and getting reamed." Pete shuddered.

Berg enjoyed the motion.  "He's not bad looking, just older."

"Didn't want to know, did *not* want to know...  I am a'scared."

"Always glad to oblige.  I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't 
force-feed you at least one disturbing image a day." Berg picked 
up a handful of popcorn and fed Pete a few buttery kernels.  He 
didn't take his hand away until his roommate had thoroughly licked 
his fingers.  "Now who are *these* people?"

"Brooke and Ridge."

"What the hell is up with these names?"

"It's a soap opera.  I think it's a law."

"They're stupid.  The worst ones are on the people named after 
natural phenomena."

"Says the man who calls himself 'Berg.'"

"Bite me." When Pete just looked fondly down at him, Berg said, 
"Please?"

"Later.  They've been desperately in love for seven years, but fate 
and misunderstandings keep getting in the way.  He's been married 
twice to other people while he was still in love with her: one time 
to a woman who died of some slow disease that makes you 
gracefully waste away and the other to a woman he thinks is dead 
in a plane crash but is really living as an amnesiac in a palace in a 
Middle Eastern kingdom."

"Suuuure."

"I'm not kidding.  Brooke was married to Ridge's father at one 
point.  While she was still in love with Ridge."

"So she used to be his stepmother?  Kinky.  But who'd want to 
marry anyone with a track record like his?"

"We're not dealing with brilliant people here."

"Obviously."

"I think all the characters spend so much time interfering with each 
other's lives just because they've all slept together at some point.  
And because most of them are rich with a lot of time on their 
hands."

"Why should I care about the petty problems of a bunch of 
oversexed, bitchy trust fund babies?  You need diagrams to keep 
up with them all."

"Because soap operas are addictive?"

"Pete, I have to do an intervention.  You have a problem."

"Do not!"

"Sure, you do.  You need to find something more constructive to 
do with your time." Berg rubbed his head against the bulge behind 
him before looking up with a big grin.  "Hey, baby, wanna be my 
bitch?"

Pete rubbed back.  "I don't know.  Do you have a dungeon in the 
boiler room you haven't told me about?"

"I could build one."

"Then I'm yours."


**********************THE END***********************